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Thread: Jokes (add yours)

  1. #1
    Moderator ajbabe's Avatar
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    Default Jokes (add yours)

    wat is ur sense of humor? post urs here






    AJ

  2. #2
    Cognoscenti ® Lady √ Macbeth ©'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajbabe View Post
    wat is ur sense of humor? post urs here



    Ahahahahahahaha! OMG! This is just so sweet.



    Giggling hilariously! He is simply adorable!
    We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. Einstein

    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose". Elliot

    Character is higher than intellect. ~Emerson

    “The best thing I have is the knife from Fatal Attraction. I hung it in my kitchen. It's my way of saying, Don't mess with me.”
    Glenn
    Great Spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
    Einstein

    :

  3. #3
    Cognoscenti ® Lady √ Macbeth ©'s Avatar
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    LOL! Rolling laughter!
    We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. Einstein

    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose". Elliot

    Character is higher than intellect. ~Emerson

    “The best thing I have is the knife from Fatal Attraction. I hung it in my kitchen. It's my way of saying, Don't mess with me.”
    Glenn
    Great Spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
    Einstein

    :

  4. #4
    Moderator ajbabe's Avatar
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    hahahahahahahahah
    AJ

  5. #5
    Cognoscenti ® Lady √ Macbeth ©'s Avatar
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    They have the best laughter ever! I tell you, if I should ever play dead for some odd reason just bring a baby to laugh to be sure of whether or not I am truly dead.
    We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. Einstein

    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose". Elliot

    Character is higher than intellect. ~Emerson

    “The best thing I have is the knife from Fatal Attraction. I hung it in my kitchen. It's my way of saying, Don't mess with me.”
    Glenn
    Great Spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
    Einstein

    :

  6. #6
    Moderator ajbabe's Avatar
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    Default wrong number

    AJ

  7. #7
    Moderator ajbabe's Avatar
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    Default hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    One man was urinating in front of the school building, the principal of the school saw him. Soon after he finished the principal asked him, why did you urinate there, don't you see what we wrote there? " DON'T URINATE HERE " He says, OH! I thought it was the name of the school.









    A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.

    The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.


    Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

    The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

    To: My Loving Wife
    Subject: I've Arrived
    Date: 16 May 2003
    I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
    P.S. Sure is hot down here!












    A white man said, Colored people are not allowed here.
    The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
    Listen sir....when I was born I was BLACK.
    When I grew up I was BLACK,
    When I'm sick I'm BLACK,
    When I go in the sun I'm BLACK,
    When I'm cold I'm BLACK,
    When I die I'll be BLACK.
    But you sir
    When you were born you were PINK
    When you grow up you're WHITE,
    When you're sick, you're GREEN,
    When you go in the sun you turn RED,
    When you're cold you turn BLUE,
    And when you die you turn PURPLE.
    And you have the nerve to call me colored?
    He then sat back down and the white man walked away..






    A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face
    or my sexy body?'
    He looked at her from head to toe and replied: '
    I like your sense of humour!'



    Wife:_ 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?' _
    Hubby:_ 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your
    picture and the problem disappears.' _
    Wife:_ 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?' _
    Hubby:_ 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can
    there be greater than this one?'



    Wife: _ 'What are you doing?' _
    Husband: _ Nothing. _
    Wife: _ 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
    certificate for an hour.' _
    Husband: _ 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
    AJ

  8. #8
    Moderator ajbabe's Avatar
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    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oops

    can i be banned here too? hahahahahahahaha
    AJ

  9. #9
    Akosua
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    LOL!! Good laugh!

    U shd still be banned though

  10. #10

    Default

    A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.

    The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.


    Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

    The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

    To: My Loving Wife
    Subject: I've Arrived
    Date: 16 May 2003
    I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
    P.S. Sure is hot down here!

    poor widow

  11. #11
    Moderator syc's Avatar
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    lmaooo,...

  12. #12
    Moderator syc's Avatar
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    lol,

  13. #13
    Super Moderator Pope Bitterz D'Alomo's Avatar
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    Wrong number huh...
    Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. ~Aesop

    Ignorance can be educated,drunkenness sobered,craziness medicated but there is no cure for STUPIDITY


  14. #14
    Moderator ajbabe's Avatar
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    ehhhhhhh mum i didnt no u hate ur daughter so much, hmmmmmmmmmmm i still love u tho.
    AJ

  15. #15
    Super Moderator Pope Bitterz D'Alomo's Avatar
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    A white man said, Colored people are not allowed here.
    The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
    Listen sir....when I was born I was BLACK.
    When I grew up I was BLACK,
    When I'm sick I'm BLACK,
    When I go in the sun I'm BLACK,
    When I'm cold I'm BLACK,
    When I die I'll be BLACK.
    But you sir
    When you were born you were PINK
    When you grow up you're WHITE,
    When you're sick, you're GREEN,
    When you go in the sun you turn RED,
    When you're cold you turn BLUE,
    And when you die you turn PURPLE.
    And you have the nerve to call me colored?
    He then sat back down and the white man walked away..

    Great comeback...
    Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. ~Aesop

    Ignorance can be educated,drunkenness sobered,craziness medicated but there is no cure for STUPIDITY


  16. #16

    Default

    A white man said, Colored people are not allowed here.
    The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
    Listen sir....when I was born I was BLACK.
    When I grew up I was BLACK,
    When I'm sick I'm BLACK,
    When I go in the sun I'm BLACK,
    When I'm cold I'm BLACK,
    When I die I'll be BLACK.
    But you sir
    When you were born you were PINK
    When you grow up you're WHITE,
    When you're sick, you're GREEN,
    When you go in the sun you turn RED,
    When you're cold you turn BLUE,
    And when you die you turn PURPLE.
    And you have the nerve to call me colored?
    He then sat back down and the white man walked away..
    This one has me cracking up here.........
    Stop Judging me by YOUR standards and way of life....MINE is different




  17. #17
    Virtuoso Infamous's Avatar
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    Default Room 402

    A man is in the hotel lobby and he wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accdtly bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into the woman's breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "m'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you will forgive me". She replies: "If ur ---- is as hard as your elbow, am in room 402".
    Loading Haters.... ████████████████]99%”
    U knw wat time it is.....dont like me? dnt give a F.U.C.K imma still be me

  18. #18
    Moderator ajbabe's Avatar
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    you dea only dedrossing jokes u put for here hahaha
    AJ

  19. #19

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    hahahahahhaa as for these Canadians.........SMH asem oooooooooooooo
    Stop Judging me by YOUR standards and way of life....MINE is different




  20. #20
    Neophyte
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    Hahaha.. so what happens next.. do you think he is coming at room 402?
    Back pain relief

    - I only have nothing in this world -

  21. #21
    Moderator ajbabe's Avatar
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    Default Answer funny questions perfectly

    how annoying
    1. When pple see u lyin down, wit ya eyes closed, snoring they still ask:-Are u sleeping?
    Ans: No! I’m training to die

    2. Your friend calls u on your home phone (landline) he/she still asks:-Are you @ Home?
    Ans: No! i'm at the bus stop

    3.The waiter asks; do u want a table?
    ans: no pls! I'll eat on the floor...


    GIVE ME MORE
    AJ

  22. #22
    Moderator ajbabe's Avatar
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    Default :)

    3 men took their wives to hospital for delivery, shortly a nurse came out and ask who is JOSEPH that works with three crown, d man stood up, congratulations, your wife has delivered 3 bouncing babies. Shortly d nurse came out nd asked, who is JOHN that works with 7up, congratulations ur wife has delivered 7 bouncing babies, immediately d 3rd guy took off.. he ran away cuz he was working with 33 larger beer!.................




    An Ashanti woman was standing infront of a coke vending machine
    she put in 50 pesewas and a coke came out. She set
    it on top of the coke machine. Put in 50 more
    pesewas pushed the button and another coke came
    out.

    She kept doing this untill a guy standing behind
    her said, " Excuse me, can I get my coke and then
    you can go back to whatever you are doing?"

    The woman turns around and says, "Kwasia not
    when I am winning!! "




    Three drunk brothers picked a taxi to their home. The taxi driver seeing that they were so drunk when they got in, he just switched on the engine for a munite and switched it off, and said we are at your place guys. The 1st guy gave him the money and got off, 2nd guy thanked him and got off, but the 3rd guy slapped him. The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them would have realized the car didn't move an inch. So what was that for, he asked.

    3rd guy said, "Control your speed next time, you almost killed us".

    which of them was most drunk?








    Boy: what that always ultra they always advetise on??
    Mom- they jux female buscuits not good for men. .next day
    Boy- mom, i stole adwoa's always biscuits frm a blak polythene bad. What is that red cream on? Is it sugar free??
    Mom- oh my God. Better start vomiting.
    AJ

  23. #23
    Super Moderator Pope Bitterz D'Alomo's Avatar
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    GADDAMNNNNNNNNNNN Ajbabe you're the bomb ......these are some good jokes
    Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. ~Aesop

    Ignorance can be educated,drunkenness sobered,craziness medicated but there is no cure for STUPIDITY


  24. #24
    Moderator ajbabe's Avatar
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    Default Do u?

    Boy : Do u love me more thn ur family ?

    Gal : No

    Boy : Why ?
    ......
    Gal : okay Listen dis..

    when i started to walk I fell, u were not there to pick me up. bt my mom was.

    When i went outside, u were not there to hold my finger. bt my dad was.

    When i cried . .u didnt give me ur toys to play. .bt my brother n sister did.

    My family iz more precious thn anythng else. !
    AJ

  25. #25
    Cognoscenti ® Lady √ Macbeth ©'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajbabe View Post
    Boy : Do u love me more thn ur family ?

    Gal : No

    Boy : Why ?
    ......
    Gal : okay Listen dis..

    when i started to walk I fell, u were not there to pick me up. bt my mom was.

    When i went outside, u were not there to hold my finger. bt my dad was.

    When i cried . .u didnt give me ur toys to play. .bt my brother n sister did.

    My family iz more precious thn anythng else. !
    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! This is so sweet, but by the time she becomes a woman she will change her mind and love him equally if not more (hang in there BOY).
    We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. Einstein

    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose". Elliot

    Character is higher than intellect. ~Emerson

    “The best thing I have is the knife from Fatal Attraction. I hung it in my kitchen. It's my way of saying, Don't mess with me.”
    Glenn
    Great Spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
    Einstein

    :

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