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Thread: Why do relationships statrt on fire and then the fire ends up dying after a while

  1. #1
    Godfather Chapati's Avatar
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    Default Why do relationships start on fire and then the fire ends up dying after a while

    Ok so i have wondering why do u meet someone one day and the desire for each other is high but after some months one of them stops treating the other good. I met a guy some months ago, we were all into each other but all of a sudden, he doesnt call more often and then he tells me that he hasnt been himself as an excuse. is he trying to run away frm me or wat. let me hear frm u guys ok..........
    Last edited by Chapati; 12th August 2010 at 03:35 PM.

  2. #2

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    Chapati,
    To me the writing is clear on the wall...he was never really into you from the get go like he made you to believe. He wanted a taste of your "goodies" and after he had his fill, he's ready to move on. It does happen a lot of times and there is no way you can determine thats the persons intentions when they start coming after you. All he's trying to tell you is that I'm done with you so the earlier you move on the better. It hurts though but sadly to me thats the truth, there is no point wasting your time with him, you are better off without a guy like him in your life.

    On the other hand it could be true that he's really not himself like he says but the decision is yours.....

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Pope Bitterz D'Alomo's Avatar
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    Most often we tend to take infatuation for love and vice versa or love for lust, whichever way it's percieved. The moment there is some chemistry between a man and a woman,we quickly jump to conclusion and call it love.

    Could be that, you both wanted companionship as a means of getting over some emotional problems or that one party wanted to satisfy their sexual needs. May be, he doesn't feel the way you do or he realised he made a wrong choice but can't be man enough to tell you or he used you for obvious reasons.

    Whatever the reason,the guy hasn't been honest or fair to you. He may be married or in a relationship. Did he ever tell you, you look like a girl he knows ? I hope not.
    Last edited by Pope Bitterz D'Alomo; 12th August 2010 at 08:22 AM.
    Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. ~Aesop

    Ignorance can be educated,drunkenness sobered,craziness medicated but there is no cure for STUPIDITY


  4. #4

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    Pope, something you said has prompted me to ask this?

    If a guy tells you, you look like someone he knows, what does it mean? I have encountered instances of some guys being attracted to other women who look like their wives or fiancees......is there another meaning to it?

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    Godfather Chapati's Avatar
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    yep Cutie, i was abt to ask Pope the same question.....hahahhahahaha. Well he has never said i look like someone he knows. But then men have to man up and tell ladies they dont want them so they leave. for all u know there will be someone better out there for the lady.
    Last edited by Chapati; 12th August 2010 at 03:36 PM.

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    Super Moderator Pope Bitterz D'Alomo's Avatar
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    I asked that question because there is a likelihood of a man seeing some characteristics of another woman in you,which happens to be the reason for the attraction and not necessarily him being attracted to you.
    For instance, a guy may see a woman who wears the very fragrance worn by his ex. or meets a girl who talks or walks like an ex, these characteristics are the reason for the attraction. Therefore should the man satisfy his "curiousity" with the woman, he is bound to either stay for the fact that he like what he's always liked about that ex or he could leave after having had a feel of what it used to be with the ex. Bottom line he is not solely into you.
    Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. ~Aesop

    Ignorance can be educated,drunkenness sobered,craziness medicated but there is no cure for STUPIDITY


  7. #7

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    ah.... this famous question ..... well firstly most relationships are start on false pretense ...... the woman pretend to be something she is not and the man the same ...... the union then is glued by false pretense and both have to keep pretending for the relationship to keep its initial fire ..... and you as they say ...... "suban te sɛ nyinsɛn, wo ntumi nfa nsie, wo twe wo mu tan aa ɛbɛ pue" ..... who u really are will surely rise to the surface and this is when things start to sour .....

    secondly .... most of us cannot cope well with change .... the only constant in life so we enter relationship with the idea and expect our relationship or partners to show up exactly the same... which also adds to the lost of the so called flame ....
    statistics are what other people have chosen to make real.

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    Super Moderator Pope Bitterz D'Alomo's Avatar
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    Another factor could be that, the woman looks so hot and sexy at the starting line,then looks morbid in her moo-moo dress wearing her curlers with no make up or looking like this....




    LOOOOOOOOOOOL which guy wouldn't run ?
    Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. ~Aesop

    Ignorance can be educated,drunkenness sobered,craziness medicated but there is no cure for STUPIDITY


  9. #9

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    Haha. "Familiarity breeds contempt"

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pope Bitterz D'Alomo View Post
    Another factor could be that, the woman looks so hot and sexy at the starting line,then looks morbid in her moo-moo dress wearing her curlers with no make up or looking like this....




    LOOOOOOOOOOOL which guy wouldn't run ?
    lol lol lol ..... good point ..... but it goes both ways ...... men are conditioned to seek the hollywood image while women are forced to embody the hollywood image ...... this is a tiring quest especially for women and cannot be maintain to the Tee .....

    i know some girls who cannot go into public without their face paintings and actually suffer when their so called imperfections are not covered ......

    anyways
    statistics are what other people have chosen to make real.

  11. #11

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    Well the face paintings as you put it is what some men are attracted to in the first place. They think thats what a make a woman beautiful and then when the go see the real woman behind it, then they start to back out.

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by CuTiEbABy View Post
    Well the face paintings as you put it is what some men are attracted to in the first place. They think thats what a make a woman beautiful and then when the go see the real woman behind it, then they start to back out.
    i agree cutie .... so it looks like both men and women have to mature from that shallowness ...... but here is something i have been hearing frequently of late....

    if u do not genuinely see something in u ..... others will not genuinely see it in u also
    ...

    what do u think about that?
    statistics are what other people have chosen to make real.

  13. #13

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    Quophi,
    That is so true....if you have inferiority complex and dont feel that you are good enough just as you are but rather you need to change your appearance for others to want or like you then you got a lot of issues.
    You need to love yourself enough to open yourself to love others & them to reciprocate the love. Whatever God blessed you with appreciate it and dont try changing it because he has a reason for giving it to you.

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by CuTiEbABy View Post
    Quophi,
    That is so true....if you have inferiority complex and dont feel that you are good enough just as you are but rather you need to change your appearance for others to want or like you then you got a lot of issues.
    You need to love yourself enough to open yourself to love others & them to reciprocate the love. Whatever God blessed you with appreciate it and dont try changing it because he has a reason for giving it to you.
    true say madam
    statistics are what other people have chosen to make real.

  15. #15

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    bump

  16. #16
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    I think we need to give some time to take decisions and its important for us before ending any relation we need to think about it and try to continue our relations .No doubt every relation has its own value and we need to understand our relations and others feelings.

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