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Thread: Is Jealousy Ever a Good Thing In a Relationship?

  1. #1
    Bipolar Neo's Avatar
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    Default Is Jealousy Ever a Good Thing In a Relationship?

    Many of the dating advice questions I get revolve around the green eyed monster we all love to hate: jealousy. Why am I jealous of her friends? Is he or she trying to make me jealous? Do I have the right to be jealous? Am I too jealous? How do I stop being jealous?

    What's your opinion on jealousy? Do you think it's healthy in some cases, or does it spell disaster for all dating relationships?

  2. #2
    Bipolar Neo's Avatar
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    Default Are Taller People More Jealous?

    The official eHarmony blog had an interesting post that seems to have gotten missed by many of the relationship bloggers over the holidays, one that discussed recent research regarding the correlation between one's height and how jealous they were of their partner.

    The post is dense with information, so let's see if I can boil it down a bit (for references to all statements, visit the original post):

    * Several studies have found that taller males are seen as being more dominant, attractive and virile;
    * Women choose taller partners when they are ovulating or looking for casual xsexx;
    * The study accurately predicted that taller men were less jealous than their shorter counterparts, with the tallest men being the least jealous all around;
    * Even though the tallest men were less jealous, they were more likely to be aggressive with potential rivals and demand more time with their partners, whereas shorter men chose to focus on, "...the love and care that they show their partner".

    Women on the other hand were a completely different story:

    * Women of average height are the most attractive to men and have more success with conception than their shorter or taller counterparts;
    * Women of average height were the least jealous of their partners; and
    * The shorter a woman is, the more she felt other women were a threat to her relationship.

    What can we draw from this research? From what I can tell, it seems that the more attractive someone is to the general public, the less jealous the person is. Why? The study's take was that if someone feels like they are in demand, it positively affects their ability to compete with any other potential romantic rivals.

    What's your take on this new study? Do you think taller men and average height women are less jealous, and shorter women and men are the most jealous of the bunch? Will this jealousy research affect your choice in dating partners?

    source: online

  3. #3

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    Jealousy, the green eyed monster whichever way you look at it....is bad news. Some people think its good to be jealous about your partner because it shows that you love the person but that jealousy will drive you insane and nuts if you don't take care. When care is not taken and paranoia sets in then all hell will break lose.

    Some people think that they can control their jealousy, but a monster is a monster..I don't think jealousy is good in a relationship even though it exist in reality in it.

  4. #4

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    Well cant dispute this research or support it either but it brings something funny in mind. I have heard it being said that shorter people are quick-tempered because their heart is closer to their mouth, even though I don't think its true......and since jealousy and anger are related I guess it may be true....lmaoooooo

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    Moderator syc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CuTiEbABy View Post
    I have heard it being said that shorter people are quick-tempered because their heart is closer to their mouth
    lmaoooo

    So did this research say whether age has anything to do with these behaviours??
    Im especially interested in how one measures jealousy ...

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by syc View Post
    lmaoooo

    So did this research say whether age has anything to do with these behaviours??
    Im especially interested in how one measures jealousy ...
    Lol, ei syc, seriously, i'll like to know too if age has anything to do with it....

  7. #7
    BBoy T
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    A tall man with a little short dingling dong will definitely be jealous abi ?

  8. #8

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    So did this research say whether age has anything to do with these behaviours?? I'm especially interested in how one measures jealousy ...
    hahahaha Syc & Jaida...I will look into that and get back to you but I bet age has something to do with it to....IDK.......lol

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by BBoy T View Post
    A tall man with a little short dingling dong will definitely be jealous abi ?
    lmaoooo......

  10. #10
    Super Moderator Pope Bitterz D'Alomo's Avatar
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    Default Jealousy,Beat it Before You Find Yourself At Splitville

    Jealousy arises in human relationships because of comparison, competition, & the fear of being replaced due to guilt,stemming from cheating/infidelity,We tend to often times, resort to jealousy as a a vehicle for control. In order to paint ourselves blameless although guilty of infidelity, we prey on our partners by being overly jealous.We can easily see why jealousy often arises in relationships that involve only our physical and psychological dimensions because comparison and competition are almost unavoidable when we think of people in terms of their bodies and personalities.But if we become more Authentic, we move beyond jealousy because we love from the depths of our self-creating uniqueness.

    Jealousy is one of the worst feelings in the world when you are in a relationship. There is a constant voice in your head that tells you “Hey, he/she could be with her/him right now” and it hurts. The worst part is that all of these thoughts are a pure waste of your energy. For the most part, there is a reason why your boyfriend’s ex- girlfriend is his ex and vice versa. However, there are many ladies and gentlemen out there that are letting jealousy get the best of them. Today, let’s about how to beat jealousy before it beats you.

    There is nothing more unattractive for a woman than a guy who just oozes with jealousy. You can be sure that your jealousy will lead you to Splitsville. So what can you do to get over your jealousy?

    Learn to be positive. Instead of focusing on what you believe to be your shortcomings embrace what is great about you. There is a reason why your boyfriend or girlfriend,husband or wife loves you, focus on this and not on all of the reasons why he/she might be interested in someone else.

    Occupy yourself. Many become jealous because they have nothing else to do. Instead of sitting in your room thinking about where he/she is and what he/she is doing, go to the gym, join a class or go out with a new group of friends. The more you concentrate on your life, the less you will concentrate on the imaginary life that you have created for your boyfriend,girlfriend,husband or wife.

    Talk About It. Talk to your friends. Lay out the case for them as objectively as possible and truthfully. See what their opinion is and you may just find out that you are overreacting.

    Jealousy normally starts from within. If you are not happy with yourself or fearful that he/she may leave you, those claws of jealousy start to come out and can rip your relationship apart. You have to learn to accept yourself and be happy with what you bring to the table. We all have our defects and no one is perfect. There is no point in focusing on what makes you imperfect but rather on what makes you a good person. Don't let jealousy turn you into a bossy annoying SOB.
    Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. ~Aesop

    Ignorance can be educated,drunkenness sobered,craziness medicated but there is no cure for STUPIDITY


  11. #11

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    hmmmmmm the green-eyed monster that can bring you to your ruins and be your downfall if you don't take care........smh

  12. #12
    Bipolar Neo's Avatar
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    Default Why Are Men So Jealous?

    One of the reasons for this jealousy is insecurity. A man may be paired with a very beautiful woman and feel that he is not quite handsome enough to be with her. The male may feel that she'll dump him for somebody else.

    Even if he feels, quote, unquote "handsome enough", every time she smiles and looks at somebody else-he will still feel insecure about himself and his relationship with his partner. Insecurities can be the heart and soul of every jealousy: insecurity about appearance, relationship status and the such. Through such feelings, comes a loss of trust, faith-never mind self-esteem.

    A beautiful wife or girlfriend, and you have the recipe for a very jealous male partner. The man may feel that he had such a hard time getting her that she will easily walk out on him. Therefore, these negative emotions may get the best of him. In many cases, it simply is not true. But human emotions get the better part of some people, and this includes women in relationships, too. Sometimes, a lot of silly, stupid thoughts get the best of men and women in relationships. This can come through a breakdown in communications and understanding. Nevertheless, they are normal. But can become very extreme in some circumstances, bordering on obsessive behavior.

    In the vast majority of all cases, the jealousy is simply not warranted. But say that to an insecure man. First, he'll deny it. But when it becomes very apparent, he'll say that she probably is cheating on him-wants another man. You may stand there, in deep consternation and befuddlement over these illusory jealousies. But he will still feel jealous, and may not be able to stop it. You end up empathizing, because you've been there yourself. His wife or girlfriend gives him a passionate kiss, they go and make love and that is the end of it, at least for awhile. But even after having her in hours of passionate sex, those feelings still remain.

    The wife or girlfriend in question ends up feeling insecure over her own relationship. She feels restricted or under a tight leash because she may have a number of male friends and her male partner cannot even handle it. Jealousies have torn apart many a relationship over the years. It verges on and has easily crossed the lines of paranoia and obsessive behavior.




    Source: bukisa.com

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