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Thread: I think I like Her but she is moving too fast

  1. #1

    Default I think I like Her but she is moving too fast

    Hi gals and guys,

    I am 33, male and being single for 4 years. I have enjoyed the years after splitting up with my longterm girlfriend in 2006. In between then and now, I have developed my career, built my personality and behaviour.

    I have also met a lot of interesting friends and people on the way. Some of these helped me in my quest to identify who I am, some were true friends and others as 'friends with benefits' who helped make it through this cold land.

    I feel sure and ready to start something serious and this where the dilema starts. I have a friend who has been there for me, throughout this time, kept me warm at nights and being a true friend in all sense although we never officially got together. She has made it clear that she would like us to go out but my only concern is that I have got her through 2 boyfriends while we have being friends although she is single now. I know she is probable not a cheat because although we continue to sleep together throughout the frindeship, anytime she met somebody that she went out with she stopped sleeping with me.

    Here come the second girl. I met her about a year a go through another friend. By faith we met again and later got talking more through socialising with mutual friends. We have spent quite a lot of time together and I like her. I told her how I feel and she asked me stright up about my plans with regards to marriage and family. Obviously, I want to take it slowly and she says she understands but I am not sure. She wants me to me her mum and is talking about how she would like her big day. Her mum is making jokes about us getting married when spoke to her on the phone. I do not want to push her away but I am really unconfortable because I am not sure she knows me enough to want to take the plunge and i am certainly not going to yet. I know at 30 she must want to get married but i will better be safe than sorry.

    There is another complication and this may sound really shallow but it is imporatnt to me. The more i get to know her, the more i find that we are less matched in values than i thought. She has an expectation that the man should provide and the woman should stay at home and look after the family home. I believe the woman should have her own career and work outside the home. She will rather she did not have to work and there are few times that we have went out that i did not want to drive because of parking, but she would not come out if we are not driving. The alarm bells are all sounding in my ears. Am I beeing too cautious?

    I am tempting to ask my longterm friend out although the issue of the 2 boyfriends since we have being friends plays on my mind. Ofcourse, I could find someone new but how to i deal with madam pushy?

    Over to you guys. I am just the informer delivering the message to forumers... Help this guy

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Pope Bitterz D'Alomo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010


    Dear friend, RUN the hell away from "Madam Pushy" it's better you get the hell away from her now than be sorry later. What are you waiting for ?
    Now, the issue concerning your "long time" girlfriend is simple. If you both have feelings for eachother then why not make it official ? After all you're not marrying her,but off course if after a while you find her worthy or bearing your name then consider taking it to the next level.
    Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. ~Aesop

    Ignorance can be educated,drunkenness sobered,craziness medicated but there is no cure for STUPIDITY

  3. #3


    Thanks for your response. Good advice. I found this on another website and decided to share here. If you Google you should find it easily.

  4. #4
    BBoy T


    You have all the pointers indicating the second girl is trouble. Drop her whiles there is time. I will advice you consider the first girl,forget about the two boyfriends issue. If she loves you that much there's no need to fear.

  5. #5


    As Pope and BBoy T have already iterated the second woman is trouble...."BIG HUGE FAT ENORMOUS TROUBLE" brewing up and the signs are all too glaring, RUN, FLEE, whatever you can do stay away from her, you haven't taken the plunge yet, so leave it at that. Most people find themselves in such situations and feel they can accommodate, compromise and change the partner involved......9.9 out of 10 times IT DON'T WORK OUT.

    To the friend/ potential partner, the issue of her two boyfriends you helped her through to me is no big deal. You have also had past relationships so whats your problem? If you decide not to have her and take a new one, do you know how many the new one may have gone through before you? The first girl I think will be good for you, she has been with you through a lot and so you know what you are up against if you two decide to make it official.....take the plunge with her, she is a good woman before someone else takes her ...........and then you come back here to cry that you lost something valuable.......lol

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