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Thread: Rebuild Your Life After Divorce

  1. #1
    Moderator ajbabe's Avatar
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    Default Rebuild Your Life After Divorce

    These feelings are perfectly normal. You spent a large part of your life with this person, and during the years you were together, dating and married, you came to think of that person as YOUR significant other. You two were a couple, and to see your spouse with someone else will trigger feelings in you that may be surprising. It does not mean you are still in love but rather you are witnessing the evidence that your spouse now has someone else in the place you used to fill. Though you may not understand the feelings you are having, they are a natural part of moving on after a divorce.

    Remember the reasons you divorced. Divorce is not entered into lightly, and you probably have legitimate reasons for the divorce. Keeping this in mind will help you to accept the changes that have come as a result.

    No two relationships are the same. They involve different people. The relationship that you had with your ex will never be reproduced with anyone else. Each relationship between two people is different, and what you had together during your marriage will never be the same with someone else. The special things you had together were unique to the two of you. So, when you feel jealousy, remember that no one can really take the same place in your ex’s life that you had. So, keep in mind how unique you are and that you also will have someone new to share your life with.

    Remember that your ex deserves to be happy. No matter how much conflict you lived through during the divorce process, if you search your heart, you really don’t want your ex to not move forward. You also don’t want to stay stuck yourself. You really don’t want him/her to be miserable. Letting go is a process, and it may take you some time and effort to get there.

    Every divorce will have an effect on the kids involved — and many times the initial reaction is one of shock, sadness, frustration, anger, or worry. But kids can also come out of it better able to cope with stress, and many become more flexible, tolerant young adults.

    The most important things that both parents can do to help kids through this difficult time are:

    - Keep visible conflict, heated discussions, and legal talk away from the kids.

    - Minimize the disruptions to kids' daily routines.

    -Confine negativity and blame about each other to private therapy sessions or conversations with friends outside the home.

    -Keep each parent involved in the kids' lives.

    How To Move on and Rebuild Your Life After Divorce
    To “move on” after divorce you need to be open to new experiences, new ways of looking at things and new relationships. You have to take an active role in rebuilding your life, not sit and wait for a new life to come to you.

    It isn’t a good idea to force yourself to do things before you are reading. There are steps you can take to plant the seeds of a new life and cultivate them into a better existence. Here are some suggestions on how to get started.

    Difficulty: Hard
    Time Required: It' s up to the individual

    Here's How:
    Have a positive attitude. Hope in what is to come in life is essential to moving on. Look forward with hope instead of backward with resentment. A bad attitude keeps you closed off and does not promote new ways of approaching life.

    If you find you are having problems with depression and coping with the loss of your marriage seek professional help. Hang around with positive people. People who have satisfying lives and model their behavior.

    Stay away from triggers. You may find that some places, people or things trigger negative memories of your marriage and divorce. As much as is possible stay clear of these things.

    If there are situations you can’t avoid, then try and make new, happy memories to replace the bad ones. Change holiday traditions or add new ones, socialize with old friends in new places or redecorate your bedroom.

    Do something different. Develop new interests, get out and try new things. The more new activities you participate in the more your identity as a single person will form.

    Reach out to others. The potential for growth is phenomenal if you can step outside your own problems and help others. Do some volunteer work with the homeless. You might even volunteer to run a divorce support group. Sharing what you have learned with others can open your eyes to just how far you have come in your own recovery. You may be further along in the process than you even realized!

    Tips:
    - If you are stuck in a dead - end job find a new one. A new job that challenges you to grow is wonderful for a person's attitude.

    -Join a local singles group. Interacting with other singles will keep you from feeling alone. Just make sure they are happy singles.

    -Take a class or, go back and finish your degree or, get another degree. Intellectual stimulation will help broaden your horizons.

    Seeing your ex-spouse with someone else can be a shocking experience, but ultimately you will come to accept it, just as your ex will have to adjust to seeing new people in your life. Concentrate on the good memories you had and the good times to come.

    by Love & Relationship
    AJ

  2. #2
    merley
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    Cool love

    I really need to join any of the groups

  3. #3
    Godfather Fashion Yaa's Avatar
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    Default

    good read here


    all go to the same place ;all come from dust and to the dust all return. who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?
    ecclesiastes 3:20-21 :-x

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