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Thread: Some Jokes For The Grumpy Folk

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    Super Moderator Pope Bitterz D'Alomo's Avatar
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    Default Some Jokes For The Grumpy Folk

    For more than 30 years, New York magazine has run a contest in which contestants take a well-known foreign language expression, change a single letter, and provide a definition for the new expression. Here are some of my favorites.

    Harlez-vous français?
    CAN YOU DRIVE A FRENCH MOTOCYCLE?

    Cogito Eggo Sum.
    I THINK; THEREFORE I AM A WAFFLE.

    Rigor morris.
    THE CAT IS DEAD.

    Repondez-vous s'il vous plaid.
    HONK IF YOU'RE SCOTTISH.

    Que sera serf.
    LIFE IS FEUDAL.

    Posh mortem.
    DEATH STYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS.

    Pro Bozo publico
    SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL CLOWN.

    Apès Moe le deluge.
    LARRY AND MOE GOT WET.

    Haste cuisine.
    FAST FRENCH FOOD.

    Veni, vidi, vice.
    I CAME, I SAW, I PARTIED.

    Mazel ton.
    TONS OF LUCK.

    Aloha oy.
    LOVE; GREETINGS; FAREWELL; FROM SUCH A PAIN YOU SHOULD NEVER KNOW.

    Visa la France.
    DON'T LEAVE YOUR CHATEAU WITHOUT IT.

    L'état, c'est moo.
    I'M BOSSY AROUND HERE.

    Cogito, ergo spud.
    I THINK, THEREFORE I YAM.
    (OK, more than 1 letter.)

    Veni, vidi, velcro
    I CAME, I SAW, I STUCK AROUND.
    (OK, another exception.)

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    Super Moderator Pope Bitterz D'Alomo's Avatar
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    Default

    BEFORE YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR JOB.....


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    bump

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    Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
    Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. ~Aesop

    Ignorance can be educated,drunkenness sobered,craziness medicated but there is no cure for STUPIDITY


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    Super Moderator Pope Bitterz D'Alomo's Avatar
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    Default The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life

    1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."

    2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."

    3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"

    4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"

    5. The Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"

    6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"

    7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"
    Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. ~Aesop

    Ignorance can be educated,drunkenness sobered,craziness medicated but there is no cure for STUPIDITY


  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pope Bitterz D'Alomo View Post
    Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
    Lmaoooooooooooo ...skiiing holding on to what.......lol

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