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The Informer
9th March 2013, 09:35 PM
Marriage is hard no doubt, and there is not magic trick to having a perfect everlasting married life. I can’t say too much about marriage since I myself am not married. However, I’ve seen enough from the outside looking in to know that it’s not an easy road. A lot of times some of us try to weed out potential complications in our marriage by sticking to our cultural, religious, financial or social circles when looking for a life partner. My dad would tell me “why go and give yourself extra wahala by marrying a muslim from Borno when you’re a christian from Anambra? Which religion will your kids follow? How will you cope with her family and your cultural differences?” It’s a very understandable argument, but my reply most times refers to married couples that we both know, from the same village that ended up not working out due to some issue or another.

These days talking to friends and associates, it seems to come up quite often. “Yoruba people do this”, “Igbos are this”, “Ghanians are that”, and all that stuff, but do we really believe those things, or are these stereotypes that have been fed into our brains from childhood by parents, relatives and others in our community? Regardless of the answer, it is an interesting and important factor that governs most people’s decisions on a life partner, esp we africans, due to our close knit community, and family oriented lifestyle.

With all that being said, I ask the question – How important is Race/Nationality/Tribe in Marriage? Is your decision not to marry from a particular cultural background (or outside your background) influenced by your parents, or your community? Or is this solely a personal decision? Is cultural background insignificant in your decision? I’d love to hear your thoughts, and concerns.

Mr.X
26th May 2013, 10:37 PM
Marriage is hard no doubt, and there is not magic trick to having a perfect everlasting married life. I can’t say too much about marriage since I myself am not married. However, I’ve seen enough from the outside looking in to know that it’s not an easy road. A lot of times some of us try to weed out potential complications in our marriage by sticking to our cultural, religious, financial or social circles when looking for a life partner. My dad would tell me “why go and give yourself extra wahala by marrying a muslim from Borno when you’re a christian from Anambra? Which religion will your kids follow? How will you cope with her family and your cultural differences?” It’s a very understandable argument, but my reply most times refers to married couples that we both know, from the same village that ended up not working out due to some issue or another.

These days talking to friends and associates, it seems to come up quite often. “Yoruba people do this”, “Igbos are this”, “Ghanians are that”, and all that stuff, but do we really believe those things, or are these stereotypes that have been fed into our brains from childhood by parents, relatives and others in our community? Regardless of the answer, it is an interesting and important factor that governs most people’s decisions on a life partner, esp we africans, due to our close knit community, and family oriented lifestyle.

With all that being said, I ask the question – How important is Race/Nationality/Tribe in Marriage? Is your decision not to marry from a particular cultural background (or outside your background) influenced by your parents, or your community? Or is this solely a personal decision? Is cultural background insignificant in your decision? I’d love to hear your thoughts, and concerns.


I think you answered your own question by citing all those complications associated with multi-racial/national/ethnic and tribal marriages.-
Furthermore, like u said, there's no guarantee that marrying somebody of similar background equates to perpetual marital bliss.-
However, since marriage in and of itself is hardwork, i think it goes without saying that, minimizing the differences will and tend to translate into a higher probability of success.-


But, i also do think that when we emphasis differences and similarities as the main ingredient in any successful union, we usually treat differences as a negative when what we shd actually be doing is looking at it as positive and use it as a competitive advantage. Granted, it requires that both parties understand the concept and seek to not only explore their differences but also exploit it to their advantage. I mean its almost always true that more is better but i think this is where the opposite could actually be more true. But like i said, both parties have to buy into the concept. I personally think it could make for an interesting union if its done right.

Fashion Yaa
26th May 2013, 11:44 PM
Its good to see this post cuz at church today a guest preacher seemed to touch on this topic. In the end its about a freedom that you desire in your mate, societal pressure is like chains that wont let u grow if u refuse to date someone based on what the world says u should and should not.

I often worry that im letting those pressures block me from finding love in the arms of a nonAshanti. Im looking at my brother for direction in the matter actually, He himself is half Ewe half Ashanti and is choosing to date a American lady who is white. Im happy for him but I know there is this umwritten research going on cuz we all wonder how he took this bold step to love outside of his cultural background.

I enjoy seeing some interracial couples but I gotta be honest I have no idea how such a relationship would work for me. Could I care for a Mexican man unconditionally fairly and block off ditractors? In my head I could but puting it into action is futile. Perhaps it means I dont know what love is.

Neo
9th June 2013, 09:11 AM
Yaa, you are missing out big time. Expand your love across race, tribe nationality etc.

Fashion Yaa
9th June 2013, 02:22 PM
Neo
GoodLooking out

Fashion Yaa
9th June 2013, 03:44 PM
Neo
GoodLooking out