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Neo
3rd February 2013, 04:26 AM
Itís the simplest relationship booster on the planet. Be a better listener, be a better boyfriend. Bernard Ferrari, the dean of Johns Hopkins Universityís Carey School of Business, mentions five pillars in his book Power Listening. He may have been writing for the board room, but I think the tips work just as well in the bedroom.

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1. Show Respect
With business, you wonít get the information you need if you donít show a little regard for your conversation partner. With women, she simply wants her point to be acknowledged. She knows you may not be interested in what she has to say, but simply lending an ear (especially to the pointless stories) is a sign of appreciation.

2. Keep Quiet
With business, if you can keep quiet 80 percent of the time, you will be surprised by what you learn. With women, try to avoid ďfixingĒ her problem. Itís a manís instinct to be a problem solver, but most of the time women talk to vent, not to find a solution. She may just want you to sympathize with her. And as Ferrari point out, ďIt is very difficult to listen if you are talking.Ē

3. Become the Master of the Question
With business, leading with your opinion or stressing your point of view wonít make you better informed. With women, asking questions proves youíve been actively listening instead of simply hearing what sheís said. You donít have to ask a lot of questions, you just have to ask the right ones.

4. Be Prepared to be Surprised
With business, a good listener is open to challenging their firmly held beliefs so they arenít blindsided by something new. With women, a man can never assume anything either. What holds true for one of us doesnít necessarily apply to the rest of the pack. Preparing for a a unique point of view can prevent a lot of foot-in-mouth action on your part.

5. Keep your focus
In business, emotional distractions can derail a productive discussion and can keep you getting the job done. With women, your attention is our only leverage. When youíre distracted we donít feel like a priority. Devoting your energy to listening proves we can still make your head turn, even if itís just with conversation.



Source: menshealth.com