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ajbabe
8th October 2012, 02:35 PM
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Perhaps your relationship has gone sour, or you love your significant other and care for her deeply, but you feel that something is missing. There is always something you can do to improve on what you have. Happy couples incorporate several techniques to stay happy.

Comfort Level

The "comfortable couple" can be a common misinterpretation. Some people believe that comfortable partners can let themselves go and still love each other. However, there is a difference between love and passionate love. A happy couple possesses the latter. You want to make your partner comfortable, because comfort and trust go hand-in-hand.

It starts in the dating stage. Once you get past the first few dates and determine that your relationship could become long-term, the next step is to be trusted by your partner and make sure your partner trusts you. Part of this process is making sure he is comfortable around you. This ranges from making sure he feels comfortable being his true self around you to making sure he is comfortable while you are both lying on the couch. This type of "checking in" shows care and sincerity, which matters when it comes to being happy with each other.

Fun Activities

Another misconception about relationships is that happy couples do everything together. Happy couples do love spending lots of time together; however, we all need personal time, too. According to couples' therapist Tina Tessina, in "How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free," hollow routines are worse for your relationship than no routine at all.

Save your time with your partner for fun activities. The couple that is constantly experiencing new things together tends to last. Couples that play together, stay together.

Laughter

In a study done in 2001, Robert Provine, Ph.D., dissected the impact that laughter has in the emotional states and intimacy of thousands of people and couples. He claimed that "Laughter establishes--or restores--a positive emotional climate and a sense of connection between two people, who literally take pleasure in the company of each other." Some other relevant findings of Dr. Povine include: laughter plays a big role in mating, because men like women who laugh heartily in their presence; like yawning, laughter is contagious; and the laughter of the female is a critical index of a healthy relationship.

A sense of humor resonates well with your social partners, in general. If you can see the everyday world in a humorous light and are able to convey that to others, especially your man or woman, then you will be seen as a great communicator, which is another component to the happy couple.

Sex/Passion

You don't typically hear about happy couples fighting about their sex lives. Although television sitcoms may convey these things in a light and cynical manner, a bad sex life can absolutely ruin a relationship. According to "sexpert" Alex Allman, sex is important in relationships because touch is clear communication. It is not as easily misunderstood as words.

Combined with the other three factors already described, sex and passion in a relationship create the "youth utopia." Comfort and trust remind us of the early stages of our relationships. Fun activities and laughter keep us feeling young and excited. And sex? Of course you'll feel great when you are sharing yourself with someone you feel very passionately about.

Communication/Empathy

Daniel Goleman, author of, "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ," states that empathy is absolutely necessary in a relationship. You must be able to understand what your partner is going through in certain situations. If you don't think this is possible for you, then ask questions and actually listen. Your general interest and understanding shows your partner that you truly care, and it creates a great support system.

Happy couples argue just like unhappy couples. Arguing keeps passion in a relationship as much as sex and laughter. However, happy couples argue differently than unhappy couples. Goleman explains that partners in a healthy relationship can voice their complaints without harsh criticism, which can hurt a partner's character. Being able to have a conversation in a civil and empathetic way can keep a couple satisfied. Issues get resolved without feelings getting hurt.


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