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MegaMeister
9th September 2012, 09:18 AM
Some years ago I broke up with a girlfriend. I won't go into details, except to say I was a true ***hole about it. It's one of the actions in my life I most regret because I really behaved poorly, and she didn't deserve what happened.

My question is, if you were the girl in this situation would want to receive an apology?

Some time has gone by, and we've had no contact. Needless to say, she was angry beyond description at the time. I heard that her life situation is bad because of my actions from the past. I feel responsible and it's killing me.

I'd like to apologize to her, but only if it would be a positive thing for her to receive it. I'm not looking to be forgiven (I don't deserve it, frankly). And I certainly don't want to reopen old wounds for her by getting in touch, even if it were just to say I'm sorry. But I wonder if she might, on some level, want to hear me say I was wrong, I'm sorry, and that it shouldn't have happened to her and may be allow me help her out.

What do you think I should do? Belated apology, or just leave it alone?

CuTiEbABy
10th September 2012, 01:09 AM
I believe if I was in her position, I may not want to hear from you let alone see you because of whatever happened but on the other hand hearing why you messed up wont be a bad idea.

On the other hand, since your actions has led to her present situation, if there is anything you can do to relieve her of the problem, I suggest you do it. It may be hard for her to openly accept any help from you since she may not even want to talk to you. You can therefore go through someone you think she would listen to and offer that assistance.

I do think you should apologize though.

Pope Bitterz D'Alomo
10th September 2012, 04:41 PM
Some years ago I broke up with a girlfriend. I won't go into details, except to say I was a true ***hole about it. It's one of the actions in my life I most regret because I really behaved poorly, and she didn't deserve what happened.

My question is, if you were the girl in this situation would want to receive an apology?

Some time has gone by, and we've had no contact. Needless to say, she was angry beyond description at the time. I heard that her life situation is bad because of my actions from the past. I feel responsible and it's killing me.

I'd like to apologize to her, but only if it would be a positive thing for her to receive it. I'm not looking to be forgiven (I don't deserve it, frankly). And I certainly don't want to reopen old wounds for her by getting in touch, even if it were just to say I'm sorry. But I wonder if she might, on some level, want to hear me say I was wrong, I'm sorry, and that it shouldn't have happened to her and may be allow me help her out.

What do you think I should do? Belated apology, or just leave it alone?

1. For you to realize you wronged your ex is laudable.
2. Apology belated or otherwise is necessary whether she accepts it or not.The most important thing is to get it off your chest.Don't go narrating the whole story from start to finish, just stick with the essentials.
3. Offer your support anyway, it's up for her to do with it as she will.Expect a lot of bitching that is if she decides to give you audience,take it on the chin and walk away with your head up.

Good luck !

MegaMeister
10th September 2012, 09:03 PM
I believe if I was in her position, I may not want to hear from you let alone see you because of whatever happened but on the other hand hearing why you messed up wont be a bad idea.

On the other hand, since your actions has led to her present situation, if there is anything you can do to relieve her of the problem, I suggest you do it. It may be hard for her to openly accept any help from you since she may not even want to talk to you. You can therefore go through someone you think she would listen to and offer that assistance.

I do think you should apologize though.

I think I'll take the someone she will listen to route. Thank you. May I ask why If it were you you wouldn't want to see me ?

CuTiEbABy
11th September 2012, 05:15 PM
I think I'll take the someone she will listen to route. Thank you. May I ask why If it were you you wouldn't want to see me ?

You are welcome. I may not want to see you because I may have tried and moved on without you even though I am still living with the repercussions of what you did. Its more like opening up old wounds and that may not be healthy.

I have found myself in a similar situation and so I have a personal connection with your story. Its quite hurtful when someone you trust betrays you in such a way that it affects all you do from that moment on.....

BUT I hope she has been able to forgive you not for YOU but for HERSELF because holding on to past hurts doesn't help anyone, it only "cripples" her....I have learnt it the hard way.

Mase
19th September 2012, 03:26 AM
It's never too late to apologize for your actions or diction. First off if your remorseful about the whole situation then it's a good start. Let her know how sorry you are and be sincere about your apology. Give it a shot and lets us know how it went. All the best.

MegaMeister
2nd October 2012, 11:10 PM
I found a way of making contact about a week ago. The strange part of this drama is that she had been asking about me from a friend whom she had confided in. I found out that her hatred for me had turned into love after years of contemplating what could have been.
I called her anticipating some hostilities but she agreed to meet me at a place close to her home. I apologized to her and offered to assist her in whatever way I can. She accepted my apology but refused my help. I have done a lot of damage with my actions in the past and now I have a hard time living with the guilt. I wish she will accept my help but...

CuTiEbABy
6th October 2012, 02:41 PM
Good to know that at least she agreed to meet you and has accepted your apology. It is indeed a good starting point for the whole reconciliation process. I believe that with time, she would come around and finally all the issues will become history.

On the other hand, if the friend she confided in, is one you can trust, you may offer the help to her through that said friend. This can be done anonymously so she doesn't get to find out now but maybe later.

If she still doesn't accept the help this way, you have no option but to take your time with her till she decides that she is ready for your help.

Quophi Aletse
6th October 2012, 08:27 PM
forgive urself first ...... she is a reflection ......

CuTiEbABy
30th March 2013, 04:47 AM
Mega any more progress with the apology process......................