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The Informer
14th October 2010, 12:28 AM
I am writing this with a heavy and confused heart and mind. I migrated to Canada to be with my Canadian wife. I returned to Accra earlier this year and had a one-night stand with my ex-girlfriend. My wife found out after I returned to Canada. I was confused. I am a stubborn person.

I lied and said I was innocent and did not sleep with my ex-girlfriend. So I packed my things and left the house. Days later, I tried on numerous times to talk to her to discuss our marriage. She refused to talk to me. Months later, she filed for divorce. Now the divorce is final.

The problem is, I do not seem to be able to get over her. She is the love of my life but she thinks I did not love her. Otherwise, I would not have cheated on her. I got with another woman in the hope it would help me get over her, but I cannot.

Do you think that even though we are divorced, there is any hope we may one day be together again? People do make mistakes, and this is my honest mistake. We have never talked about what I did because she refuses to hear what I have to say or talk to me. Should I send her an email outlining what happened? I thought about doing so, but decided against it because I think she will share it with all her family members and friends. I have never admitted to what I did. I love her and would do anything to get her back. I need your advice, please.

by Confused Husband

Fashion Yaa
14th October 2010, 12:54 AM
this is so heartbreaking. keep trying. keep trying till she says yes.

BBoy T
14th October 2010, 11:51 PM
I am writing this with a heavy and confused heart and mind. I migrated to Canada to be with my Canadian wife. I returned to Accra earlier this year and had a one-night stand with my ex-girlfriend. My wife found out after I returned to Canada. I was confused. I am a stubborn person.

I lied and said I was innocent and did not sleep with my ex-girlfriend. So I packed my things and left the house. Days later, I tried on numerous times to talk to her to discuss our marriage. She refused to talk to me. Months later, she filed for divorce. Now the divorce is final.

The problem is, I do not seem to be able to get over her. She is the love of my life but she thinks I did not love her. Otherwise, I would not have cheated on her. I got with another woman in the hope it would help me get over her, but I cannot.

Do you think that even though we are divorced, there is any hope we may one day be together again? People do make mistakes, and this is my honest mistake. We have never talked about what I did because she refuses to hear what I have to say or talk to me. Should I send her an email outlining what happened? I thought about doing so, but decided against it because I think she will share it with all her family members and friends. I have never admitted to what I did. I love her and would do anything to get her back. I need your advice, please.

by Confused Husband

The divorce having been finalised doesn't mean all is lost,you can still get back with her provided she hasn't re-married or gotten over you for that matter.

Contact her, render your apology no matter how many times you may have done so in the past and ask for reconciliation. You will have to come clean to her no matter what !
I hope you have learnt a valuable lesson from your ordeal. CHEATING helps no one ! Good luck and keep us posted.

syc
15th October 2010, 05:28 PM
You defended a lie to the very end?? Geez man, you really are an informer!!

I think if you wife was ready to break up because she believed something she heard, then its pretty safe to say she trusts her informer:rolleyes:. Now, admittedly coming clean on this one could really damage you, but then what the heck you are already 6feet down as it is already, cant get any worse.

Let her know she can trust you again - and you've to start that from scratch.
All the best man

Pope Bitterz D'Alomo
15th October 2010, 05:43 PM
Confused Husband, you shot yourself in the leg by sleeping with your-ex,you lied,you went the macho route by packing out and you want a come back ? Get real bruv,She may be the love of your life but you certainly didn't help matters by moving out. If your woman filed for divorce and the divorcve has been finalized then my brother, you are toast. Move on ! Your ex would have moved on by now.

CuTiEbABy
20th October 2010, 02:41 PM
hmmmm....sorry man but that's a sad situation you find yourself in.

If that's "YOUR STORY" that you didn't do it and she hasn't as yet found out ....STICK TO IT. Changing it right now in a bid to get her back will worsen the already bad situation. On the other hand, if she gets to find out that you were still lying to her in the event that she takes you back, then you are "TOAST".

Your worst mistake was moving out when you already knew you were at fault. I would have loved to get some answers from you concerning how your relationship was with your wife before all this happened. It could be that she already was not happy in the marriage and was finding ways of getting out and you made it easier for her by what you did.

I also realize from what you said that her family and friends have a major role to play in all that is happening and they are influencing her a lot. I am sure there are a few friends of hers or family members who you may still be able to contact and let them talk to her on your behalf. Right now, those closer to her will be your best shot at conveying your apologies as I know she may even delete the email you were thinking of sending without reading it.

If you want her back, which in this case to me will be a hard task, don't grow weary and tired of saying sorry. From a woman's perspective just saying "SORRY" doesn't excuse what you did and make it all okay and so everything should return to normal as most men think.

She is hurt and she needs time to get over it, IF she wants to have you back, which in this case doesn't look like it.

Jaida
21st October 2010, 03:52 PM
Look, some of us have a limit, there is no chance and time to waste on u still trying to find what is still out there. U've already siad I Do to the same coochie till death do u part, u've voilated her trust, her going on with a divorce proceeding means she's had it with you, however, she need time, and you have to allow her to have those moments because the more u try and she's not responding to you will make her hate you more, more like u harrassing her. Just give it time, she'll come around and it wont happen on your terms. Maybe, on her birthdays, you might send her thoughful things, no gift card, nothing Xplicit to turn her off, at least the little gestures is a start; Best wishes

Neo
28th October 2010, 05:31 AM
Good advice Jaida. Just give her some space, after a while she might just roll back into your arms.

Q' lypse
3rd November 2010, 11:44 PM
u die finish

Pope Bitterz D'Alomo
4th November 2010, 02:39 PM
u die finish

Oh massa Q, why ? lol

MegaMeister
5th November 2010, 04:41 PM
You cheated on your wife,your marriage failed, your wife divorced your asss. Move on bro. For your ex- to divorce you means she DOESN'T WANT YOU ANYMORE.

CuTiEbABy
10th November 2010, 03:03 AM
u die finish

You paa, give the guy some encouraging words...abi he is part of the brotherhood.....lol

CuTiEbABy
10th November 2010, 03:04 AM
You cheated on your wife,your marriage failed, your wife divorced your asss. Move on bro. For your ex- to divorce you means she DOESN'T WANT YOU ANYMORE.

ooooh Mega.....the guy needs some kind and soothing words...he is hurt.....lol